Superhero or working parent?
Forego the days with defined traditional roles - as Bob Dylan said, “for times they are a-changin’ “.
While many of us recall our parents or grandparents had defined household roles that may have resembled the movies that play on repeat on the Turner Classic Movies Channel, current culture has significantly reformulated the family structure. While these movies do not showcase or even convey the challenges that many individuals (especially women) faced during those times, current culture has showcased a need for you to be everything - and more. I have spoken with many couples who state that their roles in their relationships are not defined nor spoken about, which can lead to challenges in parenting, relationships, and other concerns.
As per the Pew Research Center (2015), there has been a steady increase in the percentage of married couples with children and dual incomes. While both parents worked, the children commonly went to school and/or after school activities. Schedules were created to afford a challenging, but somewhat obtainable schedule and roles for the family. However, as a result of COVID-19, many employees began to work from home, the children to virtual school, and those activities were cancelled. Even with the decrease of the outbreaks, many activities remain closed and working from home a continued trend. This has greatly influenced the recent frustrated and woeful voices from tired parents, “I can’t do it all”.
With the understanding that every family is different and unique, there are some common themes that may provide some relief in these somewhat uncertain times as we progress towards a new normal:
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Create a Routine
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Many of us, adults and children alike, crave consistency and routine. It can make things similar and less frightening knowing what the next task is. Understandably, things come up and adjustments may need to occur, but creating a schedule can keep everyone focused and goal-oriented.
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Give Grace/Leniency to Yourself
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I first heard this when I lived in the South and did not understand the significance of the phase. I have come to understand it (in this context) as give yourself some compassion. It is okay to ask for help and support from a caring individual; we all need it sometimes.
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Define Roles/Responsibilities
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Human connection is centered around communication, both non-verbal and verbal. Having conversations with your partner about creating clearer responsibilities, wants, needs, goals, etc. can assist with preventing added frustrations to challenging times. These responsibilities can even be apart of the routine or with the children.
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Overall, it is simply not possible to “do it all”. It does not make you weak to ask for help and you should not feel guilty about asking for help. We all require assistance sometimes, and that is okay.
Reference:
Pew Research Center (2015). The rise in dual income households. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/ft_dual-income-households-1960-2012-2/.